c o v e r s t o r y
Pursuing the Femme Identity
by Andrea Spoehrer

f e a t u r e s
Revealing the "psuedo-invert"
Una, Lady Troubridge
by Alison Phipps
Ashes in the Paint
by Michelle Bancroft

c o l u m n s
Health
by Dr. Lipstick
Wealth
by Ms. Moneygrrl
Sex
by SexySuzi
Advice
by Victoria
Fashion
by Dara
Femme Perspective
by Kenya
Butch Perspective
by D

Publisher's Note
Letter from the Editor
Contribute to Femme

Send questions to Dr Lipstick at lipstick@stonefemme.com

(continued, page 2)

Dear Dr. Lipstick:

I've met the sexiest butch on line and we're about to meet!!! I am beside myself with excitement but also a little worried about having sex with someone I really don't know. Since we're both female do I really have to be careful? Can you catch something from a butch?

Ready in Raleigh

Dear Ready:

How exciting! Oh I remember those loooooong phone calls….counting the days……yes this is a big moment and yes you do need to be careful. We can catch sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) from other females, butch or not. Your degree of risk depends on what kind of sex you two have together. It also depends on what kind of sex your partner has had previously, with whom, whether s/he has a history of intravenous (IV) drug use, and the number of partners s/he has had in the past or currently….remember the old saying…you are having sex with all the people your partner has.

Here are the basics: any joining of bodily fluids (including saliva, blood, stool, and vaginal secretions) can transmit disease. Bloodborne diseases, like HIV and hepatitis B and C (acute or chronic) can be transmitted through sharing needles, exchanges of blood (including menstrual blood) or vaginal secretions, a break in the skin (and thus contact with blood), and to a lesser extent saliva.

STDs like gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, trichomonas, genital warts and herpes (oral and genital) can be transmitted through genital-to-genital contact, oral-genital/anal contact (gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, hepatitis A), and in some diseases broken skin contact with open sores (herpes, syphilis). This includes "cold sores" on the lips (oral herpes) which can be spread to someone's mouth or genitals…or any break in the skin, like fingers.

But what are your chances of contracting STDs from another female? Without knowing the sexual histories of everyone involved that is almost impossible to answer. I can tell you from years of working in an STD clinic that females who have sex with females can contract STDs.

What about HIV and queer females? The few studies that have been conducted among females who have sex with females found that the greatest risk factor for HIV and AIDS is IV drug use. Females sexually active with both males and females appear to be at higher risk than exclusively heterosexual women. There have been one or two possible cases reported, ever, of female-to-female transmission of HIV.

Some femmes, butches, lesbian-identified females and other queer females do have sex with men. Queer females can have multiple partners, including gay men, straight men, bisexuals, leather daddies, tricks….you name it, we do it. Queer females do IV drugs which can bring together a whole host of other risks, like sex for drugs. Queer females can contract hepatitis B from working in health care, although they should be immunized. You may also be at risk for hepatitis B if your mother comes from a country where it is prevalent. Females undergoing alternative insemination may also be at risk for HIV or other STDs if they obtain semen from sources that do not follow the appropriate screening guidelines. Sexual contact or blood exchanges with partners who have had a blood transfusion or who receive other blood products (like hemophiliacs) may be at risk if the blood or product was not screened properly, although this risk is very small in the U.S. as the blood supply has been screened for many years.

Now that I have scared you….the good news is that it is possible to be safe and sane---and to have fun! How can I do that, you ask? First of all, ask your partner-to-be to have STD and HIV tests. HIV may not show up on a blood test for 3-6 months after exposure, so you could practice safe sex for 6 months and then get tested again. If you have been monogamous through this period of time, it would then be safe to dispense with 'safe sex.' HIV and STD screenings are free or low cost at local health department or community clinics or HIV prevention programs.

If you want to be safe:

• Use gloves (with lube) for hand to genital/anal contact, especially if the hand has any breaks in the skin.
• For oral-genital or oral-anal sex, use dental dams. The big ones (available from Good Vibrations in San Francisco http://www.goodvibes.com and other places I'm sure) are the best because they allow for slippage and are thinner than the regular dental dams. Or use a good grade of plastic wrap. Putting lube on the receiver's side helps make dams and plastic wrap stay in place and provides more sensation. ·
• Condoms are a must for shared cocks and sex toys. Silicone cocks are longer lasting and easier to keep clean (they can be boiled…yikes!). ·
• Use water-based lubes to preserve the integrity of condoms, dams, cocks and sex toys. Many lubes contain nonoxynol-9, which helps kill HIV. Some people are allergic to it, so read the labels carefully.

I know all this information can be overwhelming. Talk to your partner-to-be….get specific and encourage honesty. This may not be easy for either of you but it will demonstrate that you respect each other and care about each other's health. You might even learn something about your partner's sexual preferences, and vice versa! And don't forget to have fun!

If you would like to write Dr. Lipstick please send mail to lipstick@stonefemme.com

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