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c
o v e r s t o r y
Coming
out of the Queer Closet
by
Nedhera Landers
f e a t u r
e s
A
Response to Alix Dobkin's article "Queer & Present Danger"
by
De-Anna Alba
Living
Deliberately
by
Mowani Carter
The
Queering of Femininity
by
Susan Craigie
c o l u m n
s
Health
by
Dr. Lipstick
Wealth
by
Ms. Moneygrrl
Sex
by
SexySuzi
Advice
by
Victoria
Fashion
by
Fran Fatale
Femme
Perspective
by
Christine
Butch
Perspective
by
Daddy Rhon
Publisher's
Note
Letter
from the Editor
Contribute
to Femme
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Coming
Out of the Queer Closet
by Nedhera Landers
(continued
page 2)
Still,
I hadn't heard the terms butch and femme linked with each other
before. Even my mom, a bargirl from way back, used to talk about
the "mannish" women and the apparently heterosexual women they
had tempted into "the life". She thought these women had a life
of ease - she was under the impression that any woman who didn't
have to cook nightly, make babies or screw when she didn't really
want to had it easy! Butch was used as a descriptive for the first
time around me by my mom. The way she said it - with a sneer -
I knew it wasn't something I wanted to be involved with.
Meantime,
I was handling the sexual frustration very badly. I had a few
one night stands to relieve some of the tension without the complications
of falling in love. I'd long since fallen out of love with D.,
but stayed due to loyalty and guilt. The women I saw with such
guilty pleasure finally introduced me to the reality of butch-femme.
I was having trouble coming to terms with what exactly a femme
was! I thought my mother had it right: a hetero woman lured in
by some freaky (but sexy) butch.
My
first reaction, in those flannel-wearing androgynous times, was
to dismiss the whole thing as an artificial construct. The Black
women I'd observed playing out this dynamic only seemed to confirm
this negative view for me: "hard", masculine butches and beauty-shop-attending
femmes. I wasn't the least bit interested. As I got more into
the politics of being a lesbian, I began to think that the great
majority of dykes were right - those "old school" butches and
femmes promoted ignorant reactions from straights. My only problem
with all of this was a nagging little question that just wouldn't
go away: how was it that most my lovers looked and acted so "butch"?
After
a lot of introspection, I realized that I'd been loving butches
the whole time; neither of us having the exact words to describe
the dynamic or, if we did, staunchly denying any identification
with that segment of the community. I refused to let anyone tell
me what to do. I wasn't going to bat my eyelashes coyly and ask
my man for permission to do something. That's what I thought a
femme did and how she acted. I wasn't aware of any identity for
a femme outside the purview of a butch.
continued
page 3
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