|
c
o v e r s t o r y
Coming
out of the Queer Closet
by
Nedhera Landers
f e a t u r
e s
A
Response to Alix Dobkin's article "Queer & Present Danger"
by
De-Anna Alba
Living
Deliberately
by
Mowani Carter
The
Queering of Femininity
by
Susan Craigie
c o l u m n
s
Health
by
Dr. Lipstick
Wealth
by
Ms. Moneygrrl
Sex
by
SexySuzi
Advice
by
Victoria
Fashion
by
Fran Fatale
Femme
Perspective
by
Christine
Butch
Perspective
by
Daddy Rhon
Publisher's
Note
Letter
from the Editor
Contribute
to Femme
|
A Response
to Alix Dobkin's article "Queer & Present Danger" by De-Anna Alba
(continued,
page 2)
Many
of us stumbled along, alone in our loving for years thereafter,
keeping to ourselves all the while looking around to find acceptance
somewhere. Some of us found acceptance in the BDSM community.
(Don't even start, Alix!) Many of us tried to fit into the new
Lesbian mold; we cut our hair short, wore jeans, flannel shirts,
work boots, precious little, if any, makeup, and tried to "butch
it up." Conversely, our Butches tried to soften their appearance
and behaviors in order to fit in to the Lesbian community. None
of us were happy. A few of us chose simply to go it alone in the
real world with our partners and made the best of it.
Well,
some years later, along comes the Queer Movement - the Lesbian,
Gay, Bi, Transgender Movement. Viola, we fit! The Queer umbrella
was big enough, and open-minded enough, to include us, in part
because it did not reject masculinity out of hand. And little
by little, some of us began to call ourselves Queer instead of
Lesbian. After all, the Lesbians had made it clear we didn't fit
their definition of Lesbian, and we had decided we didn't want
to live within the constraints the Lesbian Feminists imposed.
Fast
forward to the late 1990's. All of a sudden it becomes chic, or
stylish, to assume the trappings of a Butch/Femme couple. Young
Lesbians find it cool to identify as Butch or Femme - often times
without even knowing what that fully means to those of us who
have been around awhile - and certainly not knowing the history
of rejection that Femmes and Butches have experienced at the hands
of Lesbian Feminists. Once they are told that history, they are
appalled. Rightly so. They soon disavow the label Lesbian, and
go running into the arms of the Queer movement. They become even
more bold in their presentation and are not only accepted for
it, but are encouraged in it by the LGBT/Queer Movement.
I agree with a couple
of things in your article, Alix. I do think all of the crusading
done by Lesbian Feminists on behalf of women's rights has succeeded
in enough ways to make young Lesbians "feel secure enough and
yet defiant enough to name themselves as queer." But I think,
at least in part, they are defying the narrow definition of Lesbianism
that the Lesbian Feminists of your ilk still insist on. And, like
you, Alix, I'm fairly sure that Lesbian-only issues are not at
the top of the Queer agenda. That's hardly surprising in a group
made up of more than just Lesbians. The "same sex" issues the
Queer Nation has taken on -- such as legalized queer marriage
and domestic partner benefits -- do affect all of us, whether
we are lesbian, gay, transgendered, or bisexual.
For
those Lesbians who identify as Queer, you assume much, and assume
quite wrongly, when you say we have "no[r] respect for sacred
women's space." Sacred women's space can exist quite comfortably
side-by-side with the Queer Nation. You say that "these lesbians
who identify as queer, gay, or LBGT always want to include men
in lesbian events." The fact is, Alix, none of the Femme women
I know who identify as Queer have ever called for the inclusion
of men in Lesbian events. We may have asked you to widen your
definition of who is and is not a "proper" Lesbian, but we have
never asked you to include men! You go on to say that "'lesbian
' has nothing to do with men." We couldn't agree more, Alix. Our
Butches are not men - or even male wannabes, as they are so often
judged to be. Femmes and Butches were some of the original champions
of 'women only' space. Yet now you prefer to exclude the half
of us that are "too masculine", and deride the rest of us who
are "too feminine."
Toward
the end of your article you claim, "My mission is to explode the
stifling controls of what's considered normal, to advance that
which frees us from the confines of those who would dominate us
and dictate our choices."
Well,
Alix, in that case, you and the rest of the Lesbian Feminists,
have failed. Your definition of what is considered "normal" for
Lesbians has excluded Femmes and Butches for years - and still
does. And in so doing you have become a part of that which you
have fought against all these years - the dominator paradigm.
But this time Lesbian Feminists, instead of 'the patriarchy',
are dictating what choices are acceptable for us, Lesbian Femmes
(and Butches). You have become that which you all have so ardently
fought against - the oppressor.
Do
you want more Lesbians in your corner, Alix? Expand your definition.
Want more Feminists on your bandwagon? Then realize that it takes
a variety of instruments to strike up the band.
For
information about the Author
|
