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c
o v e r s t o r y
Coming
out of the Queer Closet
by
Nedhera Landers
f e a t u r
e s
A
Response to Alix Dobkin's article "Queer & Present Danger"
by
De-Anna Alba
Living
Deliberately
by
Mowani Carter
The
Queering of Femininity
by
Susan Craigie
c o l u m n
s
Health
by
Dr. Lipstick
Wealth
by
Ms. Moneygrrl
Sex
by
SexySuzi
Advice
by
Victoria
Fashion
by
Fran Fatale
Femme
Perspective
by
Christine
Butch
Perspective
by
Daddy Rhon
Publisher's
Note
Letter
from the Editor
Contribute
to Femme
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Living
Deliberately
by Mowani Carter
(continued,
page 4)
In
her book, "Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism," Suzanne Pharr mentions
two women holding hands walking on a beach a thousand miles from
home. As soon as they see a couple and a child walking towards
them, they drop their hands. In this image, I recognized myself.
It has stayed with me for many years. It helps me understand that
I can be my own worse oppressor every time I say "Yes"
to internalized homophobia.
Suzanne
goes on to say, "For many of us, becoming entirely visible is
the central place of risk taking. It is also at the core of our
self-esteem and organizing issues...what we can ask of ourselves,
however, is that each of us continuously push the limits of our
safety in our risk taking; that we not be content with each level
of visibility but keep moving ourselves forward to freedom...every
act of lesbian visibility is an act of resistance." (My mental
"Kodak Moment.")
In
my continuing road to liberation, I try to keep one fact in the
forefront of my mind. It is that after all the rationalizations
have been peeled away, one truth endures. Only one person can
choose how I live my life--ME! This is not my "lifestyle," it's
my life. It's the only one that I have, and therefore, infinitely
precious. Accepting myself has proven to be much more life-affirming
than the acceptance of others.
For
me, coming out is a work in progress, possibly a lifelong one.
According to the situation, I still experience that initial tendency
to put a small piece of myself back in the closet... my psyche
still remembers that Slap! But in my journey to live deliberately,
my most profound realization has been this: In the end, when all
the hymns have been sung, all the remembrances shared, the epitaph
"She did it her way" is much more appealing than --"She died as
she lived-- Afraid!"
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more information about the author
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