|  by Christine De La Rosa
Femme invisibility is a fact of life. If you are an out and proud Femme, chances are there are few who recognize you as such. To society in general, you appear to be "just like them"... safe, sane and most importantly, straight. As we navigate both hetero and homosexual space, how much responsibility do Femmes have to make ourselves visible? I believe I have some responsibility to be out, proud and loud about my queer/lesbian/dyke status. I certainly don't desire to be mistaken for a heterosexual woman. My commitment to both my identity and my community is fierce and I am proud of who I am. The flip side of my struggle to remain visible in a society which doesn't see me is the constant fear that I will remain "invisible" forever. That it does not matter that I wear my queerness with pride. That it is not enough that I am true to my spirit. That I have somehow failed to properly insure my visibility and therfore do not share in the queer/lesbian/dyke experience. I ask myself constantly, is there is more I could be doing to insure my visibility as a queer Femme? The answer is consistently no. I truly feel that I am doing everything I need to do to remain and maintain my queer Femme idenitity. Yet, in most arenas, I am still overlooked. How can that be? Simple. I fall into the typical stereotype which states all feminine women must be heterosexual. So the question for me becomes:how much responsibility lies within both hetero and homosexual society to broaden their views of femininity? I believe at least as much as lies with me to remain out and proud. It is time that we begin challenging the stereotypes that force us into the shadows of invisibility. To question at every turn the ingrained, static notions of femininity held in such high regard in today's society. As a Femme community, we need to make a commitment to reshaping the very idea of femininity. If we do not challenge the status quo, we may never truly be seen. Is changing the pervasive heterosexual views of femininity something that will happen overnight? No, of course not. I firmly believe that change takes time, whether those changes be subtle or radical. I think that getting a society at large to re-evaluate its views is always difficult. Yet, I believe it is worth the effort. So what can we do? Where do we start? I am hoping that this column and this magazine will spark that conversation and raise that conciousness. As more Femmes get connected and our community grows, the possibility of change deepens. Perhaps here, on these web pages, we can begin the process of change. No one individual has the solution. Maybe together we can come up wih a game plan. Maybe, by being here, airing these issues, posing our questions, we will affect change. Join us. More information about the author | 