|
PILLOW
TALK
With Wicked Suzi
(continued,
page 2)
So
let's begin with my FAVORITE subject… Pillow Queens!
When
I first came out, many moons ago… Femmes were Not Encouraged to
go downtown. Often, even the softly spoken offer was met with
a horrified look and a Very Firm NO. As this was the way I was
brought out into gay/lesbian life I just thought it was the way
it should be. Indeed, I was quite happy in the belief that my
butch was getting off on getting ME off !!
Alas…
I soon discovered that there was a quickly growing majority that
believed me to be Greedy and Selfish and Lazy! As time went on,
everywhere I turned, I was met with the same reproachful look
that implied I was a dinosaur and that things were supposed to
be Equal both in the bedroom and out of it too!
It
was the Age of Androdykes. The "Just Me's." These were the women
who always said things like "I'm not butch OR femme, I'm Just
Me."
The
times were certainly changing and I had no desire to change with
them.
I've
always been attracted to BTA's {the butchest thing around} and
when even THEY got with the program, and started falling on their
backs, with their heels in the air almost before the first kiss
.. well… my life had progressed to a sorry state indeed.
I
found myself isolated more and more. I really TRIED to do what
was expected of me, in one doomed relationship after another.
It's not that I didn't want my sweetheart to get hers, it's just
that the normal way of lesbian sex in the 70's - the "you do me
and then I'll do you" - was simply incredibly BORING to me! I
call it "Vanilla Sex".
When
I did make the effort to do her, somehow it just didn't feel right.
No matter that I learned or knew the techniques, it just was uncomfortable.
Very disorienting. I mean, outside the bedroom she would be the
daddy I wanted - very dominant and capable and strong. But as
soon as we got to the lovemaking part… I was expected to do the
same things to her that she did to me! There's a phrase for it
now, "Butch in the streets, Femme in the sheets". Hell, back then,
most of them didn't even own a strap on, and the few that did,
expected ME to use it on THEM! What is THAT about? How would THAT
look? I could only shudder with horror as I visualized myself
in heels, thigh-highs and a pretty little teddy, with a big ol'
THING between my legs and no idea of what to DO with it!!
It
was like a bad dream that lasted for years!
Continued
on page 3
|
