c o v e r s t o r y
Transgendered Butches and FTM's: a uniquely Femme Perspective
by Sonya Bolus

f e a t u r e s
Transgendered Lesbian
by Arlene Istar Lev
Passing as the Pope - the Story of Joan English
by Alison Phipps

c o l u m n s
Health
by Dr. Lipstick
Wealth
by Ms. Moneygrrl
Sex
by SexySuzi
Advice
by Victoria
Femme Perspective
by DeAnna
Butch Perspective
by E.T. Turner

Publisher's Note
Contribute to Femme

Transgendered Lesbian
by Arlene Istar Lev

(Continued, page 5)

Although it is tempting to describe this as a continuum from butch lesbian on one end to female to male transsexual on the other, in reality there are butch lesbians with a strong male identification and transmen who still maintain a sense of themselves as female/woman/ and/or lesbian. Some transgendered lesbians enjoy the fluidity of shifting gender identities, and others express a very delineated boundary defining their identity. Most do not see themselves as women, some do not see themselves as men, and others do not see themselves as either men or women preferring to identify as bigendered or "other" gendered -- essentially, a third sex. Many do not see themselves as lesbian, -- since for them lesbian connotes a "woman-to-woman" sexuality -- although have previously lived and identified as lesbians, and are often partnered with women who still do identify as lesbians.

The line where butch/woman identity ends and trans/man identity begins is a territory still being mapped out and the heated debate over identity boundaries has been called the "butch/ftm border wars." Certainly there are lesbians who are secure in an identity as a masculine (butch) woman, and there are female to male transsexuals that are clear about their identity as a man and desire to fully transition into the "other" sex. However, there are many people whose gender and sexual identities exist within a broad spectrum of masculine embodiment in females. In the words of Gary Bowen, a gay FtM of Native descent, " people can park anywhere along the gender highway and stay there as long as they like."

It is like having each of one's feet in two different rowboats -- one labeled lesbian, and the other labeled transgendered. It is easy to imagine why some people would be committed to seeing that these boats don't float off in different directions. This is a powerful image that can serve as a container to hold the experience of female-bodied people, who experience a male gender identity and who are sexually and romantically attracted to women, but do not themselves identify as women.

Within the butch/femme community as butches engage more in conversations about transgenderism, their femme partners are experiencing an interesting dilemma. If the butch transitions, or identifies as a man, where does that leave their lesbian lover? As I move through the world as a femme, I am invisible as a lesbian. When I walk through the world with my butch partner, we are seen as lesbians, as an erotic unit in a way that two androgynous lesbians would not be seen -- clearly transgressing the approved gender roles and sexual identities proscribed. If I walk through the world partnered with a transman, I am once again invisible, passing through the world as an apparent heterosexual couple. One femme lesbian says, "I didn't live my whole life as a radical lesbian queer, to wind up living in the suburbs with a husband and kids." This raises the question: is a lesbian woman, who is lovers with a transgendered stonebutch, still a lesbian? Some resolve this by saying, "Yes, my partner can't determine my identity." -- a nice feminist reframe; others broaden their relationship to the larger queer community, saying, "OK, I'm not a lesbian anymore, but I sure ain't straight either," a nice queer reframe.

The feminist and lesbian communities are being challenged now to reclaim masculinity, and honor females who live in this world empowered and embodied in masculine identities. Letting this in, has been a fascinating journey; I am struggling to understand how this impacts on my identity. I have spent many hours trying to understand how I somehow managed to never "notice" before that my lovers were "inverts." I am reclaiming now my lesbian desire that has very little to do with sisterhood..

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