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 Send
questions to Dr Lipstick at lipstick@stonefemme.com
(continued,
page 2)
Dear
Dr. Lipstick:
How
do I find the G-spot on my lover? I can't seem to bring her to
orgasm.
Searching
in Savannah
Dear
Searching,
To
answer your specific question first: the Big G is a spongy area
of tissue that sits on the top (front) side of the vagina above
the pubic bone. So if you insert your finger(s) just inside the
vagina and push up…there 'tis! It surrounds the urethra (the tube
you pee from) and when stimulated it can produce an ejaculation
of fluid (sometimes a lot…so have a towel or an adult diaper/pad
in place or handy to catch these sumptuous juices). Glands located
around the urethra produce this fluid but it is not urine. Ejaculation
can happen when fucking with cocks, finger stimulation, or fisting.
Some folks can even ejaculate without direct stimulation of the
G-spot.
The
larger answer to your question is that you do not need to stimulate
the G-spot to have an orgasm. As I was telling our Sarasota sister…we
can orgasm in different ways. Some of us come from stimulation
to the clitoris, vaginal walls or muscles, G-spot, or anus…or
all of the above! Some come from stimulation to the nipples or
other parts of our bodies. Some of us can only come in certain
positions or from specific touch to specific parts…some of us
can ejaculate and some can't.
There
are several books on the G-spot (for example, The Good Vibrations
Guide to the G-Spot by Cathy Winks and The G Spot by Alice Kahn
Ladas, Beverly Whipple and John Perry) as well as a fun video
on ejaculation ("How to Female Ejaculate"). To order these or
get more info on sex see the Good Vibrations Store website at
http://www.goodvibes.com. Click on 'books' then 'about sexuality'
then 'female' or click on 'videos' then 'sex education'. Great
resources!
Dear
Dr. Lipstick,
My
lover and I want to try fisting. (I REALLY want to try it.) But
- I had a hysterectomy in 1997. And I've read that it's best to
leave fisting out of our "repertoire" because of this. What do
you think? Our sex life is very satisfying as it is, and yes,
I can be fulfilled without fisting…but this femme is curious!
Curious
in Camden
Dear
Curious,
I
can feel your pain sister…well, ok, it's not pain but I totally
understand how you feel about this! The relevance of having had
major surgery is related to scarring…the concern is that your
tissues may not be as elastic or stretchable as they used to be.
When you have a hysterectomy, the end of the vagina is normally
sutured closed after removing the uterus and cervix (which protrudes
into the vagina when it is present). This is the area that may
be less elastic after the incision heals. In addition, if the
ovaries are also removed during a hysterectomy, you no longer
produce estrogen although this can be remedied if you are eligible
to take hormone replacement therapy. Estrogen helps keep the vaginal
tissues from thinning and drying out which is important when it
comes to fisting. Remember, though, lube is a critical component
of fisting regardless of estrogen levels.
At
any rate, I can't actually advise you whether or not to be fisted.
I would recommend an exam and discussion with your gynecologist
(if she or he is approachable) to see if you have any significant
scarring that would restrict your sexual activity. If you do decide
to be fisted, avoid deep pressure so that your partner's fist
isn't pushing against the scarred tissue. I do hope it all works
out for you….but just make sure it's right for you.
[Editor's
note: See Dr. Lipstick's column in the February 2000 issue of
Femme: the Magazine for more information on fisting.]
If
you would like to write Dr. Lipstick please send mail to lipstick@stonefemme.com
For
more information on the Author
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