Here is Stonefemme.Com's Interview with the wonderful Marie Cartier, a Femme We Love!

Stonefemme.Com: Marie, I came across your site when I was doing a seach for Femme inspired websites. Yours really caught my eye in the search engine because it listed your one woman piece "Ballistic Femme." I loved those two words together, so I clicked the link. I am so glad that I did. What an amazing collection of work. I always love seeing strong Femmes represented on the web.

So let's get some background information on you. When did you first come out as gay?

Marie Cartier: I came out when I was 21. I took my first women's studies class and met my first lesbian. Although when I was in High School I was looking through a copy of "Our Bodies, Ourselves," I saw pictures of lesbians in the "health" section and I don't know why but I asked my mother if I could be "one of those?"

She said no, but I can still remember the picture of these women, one had a cap on and short hair and they seemed so free. I knew somehow I was linked to them, but I wouldn't really understand it until years later and I met my "first one"!

Stonefemme.Com: I sure know about that "first one." <wink> When did you start identifying as Femme?

Marie Cartier: I was a lesbian feminist in the 70's, but obviously still femme. I mean some things you just can't hide! I was taking a women's studies class with Mary Daly and one of the students came up to me very angry and told me that I didn't need to be there.."you can pass!"

I was so ashamed that I could not hide me female-ness/ femme-ness. Years atter a very painful divorce from a woman I still care for deeply but could longer be married to, I met my first butch lesbian. I knew then, like I have never known before that I could have the sex life I wanted. I would not be a "tool of the patriarchy'" for wanting to wear lingerie.

Stonefemme.Com: I can absolutely relate to that revelation. Being Femme myself, I too have experienced some shame around "passing." But I feel that as Femme, you can't hide who you are because it is read certain ways in the straight world we live in. Being true to myself is the only thing I am responsible for. To hell with shame!

What is your definition of Femme for yourself?

Marie Cartier: Inner sexiness. A desire for sex that gets to be expressed and celebrated inwardly in myself. I get to include that I want sex and expect to have sex as part of my self definition, perhaps in the way that an s/m player would (which I really am not) but I do respect their use of sex as part of their identity. I find butch and femme to be sexual practice identifiers, I use the word femme to identify not just what I want in bed but also really as part of who I am.

Stonefemme.Com: How influential has your Femme identity been to your art?

Marie Cartier: Huge..because I have dramatized it. wrote about it, discoursed about it and I find it a really endless well of inspiration. The history, the present life which I am part of is my hope for future where gender is even more explored.

Stonefemme.Com: Is there any connection between being an incest survivor and being Femme?

Marie Cartier: Hmm...yes..because I am an incest survivor and conscious about it. I have been in various therapy modalities for fifteen years, I have fought so hard for my mental health so in that sense, yes. I have been forced to be on a healing path for my survival from incest. I have also consequently learned to be on a healing path for my whole life, all aspects of it. I think I will not settle, cannot settle, for what is not my true self anymore. I guess that is the joy and pain of having had a lot of therapy, you really have to face yourself all the time. I mean you paid someone to teach you how to stop hiding!

As a catholic girl growing up I could never celebrate desire the way a femme does. It was not until I had had over five years of therapy specifically for my incest survivor issues that I came into my own sexually and then I could find "my femme" and love her.

I love the quote by Ntozake Shange from "for colored girls...."

"I found god in myself and I loved her/ I loved her fiercely.." that's how I feel about finding the femme in myself, and loving her, fiercely.

Stonefemme.Com: Wow, what an amazing journey. I really feel what you write and absolutely relate. As a sexual abuse survivor myself, I feel that being able to love my inner Femme has made all the difference in my acceptance of my sexuality and more specifically my queer sexuality. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

As a performance artist, what medium do you prefer to work in?

Marie Cartier: I prefer theater with lines, cues, stage sets, props etc. But I am also interesed and have been exploring more body based art that is visual and non-textual..

Stonefemme.Com: Sounds very interesting. I hope you will keep Stonefemme.Com updated on your latest work. Tell us how Ballistic Femme came about?

Marie Cartier: I was so upset by the sexist comments that I was receiving being in my first "butch femme" relationship..but I didn't know at the time..that it was butch-femme..neither did my girlfriend at the time. We were shocked when our friends and others, would tell "dumb femme" jokes.

As an old school feminist this made me nuts so I wrote a show about it and put everyone's words in the play..just like butches...;) They wanted to be sure they got their props in the program for giving me lines!!

Stonefemme.Com: What inspired Ballistic Femme?

Marie Cartier: The above, but also a particular evening when a butch woman told me the kind of femme I was was "irritated femme" because I was so ...feminist!

Stonefemme.Com: What are you currently working on?

Marie Cartier: The Big O Collections installation "SEXTEST" and my museum MORGASM - the museum of radical gender and sex matirx..it's on my website..some of it..

http://home.earthlink.net/~ezmerelda

A one woman show..the Big O Stories - monolgues the vagina really wants to tell..and a one woman show about the history of butch-femme bar culture..Butch-Femme 101. I am also working on a dissertation about Butch-Femme Bar Culture from the 40s to the 70s and to present. If any of the wonderful femmes and/or butches would like to respond to my questionnaire I would really appreciate it.

Stonefemme.Com: Your museum MORGASM, sounds very interesting will you tell us more about it?

Marie Cartier: Up to 44 percent of all American women experience low interest in sex and/or absence of orgasm. What's wrong with that statistic? Here's what's wrong: It's acceptable. The Big O Collection consists of more than six hours of stories and more than 100 artifacts from the
Site of Female Orgasm

MORGASM is in support of its premiere exhibition, SEXTEXT, an installation and performance from
The Big O Collection: Stories and Artifacts from the Site of Female Orgasm. We hope to "rock the world" of the non-orgasmic woman, so something within the collection "rocks her world," to allow her the possibility of this experience for herself. The installation, SEXTEXT, which consists of a seven-circuit labyrinth walk, cathedral column of orgasm artifacts and soundtrack are meant to stimulate within the viewer the validation of this experience.

Stonefemme.Com: Marie, thanks so much for spending a bit of your time talking with us. We know you are very busy and prolific! We hope to hear more from you soon! You are truly a Femme We Love!

If you are interested in being featured in Femmes We Love please write webmaster@stonefemme.com.

Marie Cartier hair and makeups is done Katherine Barboa
Photos are by Lisa Hartouni